That sappy stuff

I think it's the sweetest thing whenever I see husbands post on FB or Instagram about how blessed they are to have such a godly, gentle, passionate, beautiful, and fun wife to journey through life with. You can just imagine the smile that swept across their face when they would recall how they first met and how it took him forever to build up the guts to ask her out on a date.

I pray that I can be that kind of wife to my future husband that he can't help but let the world know how lucky he is!

Let's be honest here... I love LOVE. Maybe I've experienced mere glimpses of it in my past relationships with people but I don't think I've come close to tapping into that secret tune that has the world humming love songs or those smiles that come out of nowhere just with the thought of that person. No, I don't think I quite get it yet. Not that I don't want to. I want it, trust me. I just don't want to be in a romantic relationship that will ever distract or take me away from my intimate relationship with God. I've been there and as hard as it was to walk away, I did. To most, this might not make sense. "You don't want a relationship because of your relationship with Jesus?" I know. Kind of confusing. There are many facets of love. The love I'm referring to in this entry is all that sappy stuff. The relationship I have with God is the way a little girl loves her father. Just thought I would clear the air. Hope that did the trick.

Anyways, I hope to marry a man that will display strong facets of who Christ is each new day so the more I fall in love with Christ I will continue to fall more in love with my husband. Someone I can learn from and grow with. That when I look into his eyes there would be a sort of soft form of grace and understanding. His hands ready to serve but ready to lead. A voice that holds authority but a sense of safety for me and our many children. Of course, I want to reciprocate that so I won't be the only one taking away from our relationship. I want to add laughter to his years and a home that he can find rest and support in physically and spiritually. Among other things.

Proverbs 31? You know, where it talks about the wife of noble character. Of course you do! Every Christian woman will hear about it at least once in their life.* That's the kind of woman I strive to be. Maybe one day I'll be able to bless a man like that.

*Or hundreds of times. You may even had to have studied so you could write it word for word with all the correct punctuation for your monthly exam in Biblical Application. No? Oh, well you missed out on some intense late night cramming.

Take note boys.

Amen.

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A man on a white horse

Dear God, I prayed, all unafraid (as we're inclined to do),
I need not a handsome man
But let him be like You;
I do not need one big and strong
Nor yet so very tall,
Nor need he be some genius,
Or wealthy, Lord, at all;
But let his head be high, dear God,
And let his eye be clear,
His shoulders straight, whate'er his state,
Whate'er his earthly sphere;
And let his face have character,
A ruggedness of soul,
And let his whole life show, dear God,
A singleness of goal;
Then when he comes
(As he will come)
With quiet eyes aglow,
I'll understand that he's the man
I prayed for long ago.

-Ruth Bell Graham (collected poems, p. 35)

[If] I marry...

If I marry: He must be so tall that when he is on his knees he reaches all the way to heaven. His shoulders must be broad enough to bear the burden of a family. His lips must be strong enough to smile, firm enough to say no, and tender enough to kiss. Love must be so deep that it takes its stand in Christ and so wide that it takes in the whole lost world. He must be active enough to save souls. He must be big enough to be gentle and great enough to be thoughtful. His arms must be strong enough to carry a little child.

-Ruth Bell Graham (at age 17)

Here's my [dad's] number....

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied
by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current
medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________  DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________  WEIGHT____________  IQ__________  GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________  DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________  CITY/STATE___________  ZIP______

Do you have parents?                     ___Yes  ___No
Is one male and the other female?  ___Yes  ___No
If No, explain:
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van?             __Yes  __No

B. A truck with oversized tires?                   __Yes  __No

C. A waterbed?                                     __Yes  __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back?           __Yes  __No

E. A tattoo?                                       __Yes  __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,              __Yes  __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.  I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank.  Please answer freely, all answers are
confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________      ________________________________
Mother's Signature                      Father's Signature

_______________________________      ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi                     State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.  Please do not try to
call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If
your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing
white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.



Daddy's Rules for Dating
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy) :

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a
package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so
long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your
eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them..

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear
their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.
Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are
complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue,
so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear
showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However,
in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the
course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and
fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a
'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes
to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other,
we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please
do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of
when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only
word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date
other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to
date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I
will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and
more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on
time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her
makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden GateBridge.
Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like
changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool
Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding
hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to
induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything
other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her
throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided;
movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks
homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged,
dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the
all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are
going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres
behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the
sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy
near Hanoi When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head
frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter
home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with
both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a
clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then
return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The
camouflaged face at the window is mine.